We here at ArabianMonkey.com love a little To Catch A Predator. Although The Gerk is the only one to have been on the show, we all are really fascinated with creepy 30+ year old men getting their ass handed to them by Chris Hansen. Oh, so you thought she was 18? Well...SNAP BITCH...Chris Hansen has a fucking chat log and it says right here she was 13....what up now bitch?

What makes the show is the characters who appear on Chris Hansen's doorstep and how they try to explain themselves. Oh- you were just stopping to look for directions and you just happened to bring in some KY, a condom, and some wine coolers? Or maybe you were just trying to stop and get something to eat? Maybe you can just go home and learn from all of this? Here are some of the best Predator's to ever grace Perverted Justice's chatrooms.

 

The Naked/I'm Just Trying To Get Something To Eat Guy

SpecialGuy29 was real special. Possibly the best predator ever, SpecialGuy came to see Chris Hansen two different times in a span of two days! The first time he literally got caught with his pants down. The male decoy told SpecialGuy he wanted him to come into the house naked. The interview was hilarious. SpecialGuy, or John, was shaking, sweating, naked, and lying to Chris. John, believing Chris Hansen was the boy's father, tries to bullshit his way out of trouble. Hansen yells at him for a few minutes as John tries to convince Chris that this was his first time. Disgraced, John is told to put on his pants and leave.

Like a dumbass, SpecialGuy29 gets back online the next day with the same screen name and the same goal. The Perverted Justice officers contact him and tell him they want some underage gay sex under the Golden Arches. For the second day in a row, Chris Hansen talks to John. John tells us the reason he wants to have sex with underage boys is because of a death in his family. Chris yells at him more and then John leaves; shoes untied and his tail between his legs.

The Teacher Predator/Any Predator Looking To Teach These Kids A Lesson

Teaching in this case can be administered in many different ways. You have the guy who is trying to teach the kid that there are a lot of weirdos out there and you better be careful. He claims while he is not one of those weirdos, but he could have been, so you better stop talking on the computer like that. You have the teacher who is just trying to give the child some sex education. I mean, he doesn't REALLY WANT to have sex with a minor, but for the sake of education he pretty much has to. Another thing, this isn't the same thing as those so called female teacher "predators". If you are a 14 year old boy and you hook up with your 25 year old teacher are you really going to cry about it or brag to all of your buddies? Yeah.

The Friend Predator/Just Coming Over To Hang Out And Maybe Watch Some TV

This guy comes over just to hang out. You know, the girl was lonely and he didn't want her home all alone. There are a lot of perverts out there, ya know? A Friend Predator will tell Chris Hansen his intentions were honest to goodness and all he wanted to do was watch some TV and talk. How do you explain the graphic and disgusting chat logs? He was just goofing around or even better yet he was just trying to understand the young girl's/guy's sexual feelings so he could talk to them about it. This excuse will never work because every Friend Predator brings like 10 pornos and a box of condoms.

The Oops Guy/I Just Say Oops When I Get Caught Trying To Have Sex With 13 Year Olds

Ooooooooppppps! Sorry!

The Dad Guy/Just Trying To Be A Father Figure In Her Life

About 50 years old. That is usually the age of these predators. Few are less than 50 in this category but a number are older. They usually bring gifts and promises of trips to Disneyland in exchange for some sex. He'll tell Chris that the kid doesn't have a father in their life and they are just trying to offer some guidance. Some of these investigations were done down South so maybe this is standard but usually Chris points out that father's don't solicit sex from their offspring. At this point the Father Predator is owned and his trip to Disneyland turns into a trip to jail.

The Lonely Guy/I've Tried All The Dating Services But I Still Can't Get A Girl

You could really put all predators in this category but there is a select few that use this as their main excuse. They are in their late 20's-early 30's and have never had a real girlfriend. They claim their only option, because of their loneliness, is to have sex with a 13 year old girl. Well, they don't say that, but that is what it comes across as. If there is any group I feel sorry for it is this group, but you can't help but think they are still scumbags. If you can't get a girlfriend your age why not date someone older instead of younger? I'm sure their are plenty of 40 year old divorced woman with 4 children that would love to be with you. Better yet, there are a lot of widowed old woman out there and they are legal. Try the senior home before you raid latchkey okay?

Gotcha Bitch!